I love tapestries. They always mean something. There is a message in the image that can speak to the heart. This is just as true of the tapestry of a family. The hidden depths of the relationships can show the beauty of the front side, or the snarly mess of the back. No matter which side is seen, its all important because we cannot have the sweet without some of the bitter.
The tapestry of my family has always been challenging. I spent years focusing on the snarls, instead of the beautiful. I had trouble finding my way past the backside of the image. Time does many things, and sometimes, it really does heal wounds. It took me a long time to get to the place where I can remember the good things, and not focus so much on the bad.I had to get help, and experience a lot of God-given grace to get here. Now, when I think of my family, I don't automatically battle with negative emotions, I often smile at remembering good times.
Why is this important? Its part of my ongoing emotional healing. Abuse, whether your own, or a family member's leaves scars on the heart. Regardless of the kind of abuse, it holds us back from believing we are worth following our dreams. What often gets left behind is a feeling of worthlessness. That causes despair, and leads to severe depression and isolation. Many people have no idea that their depression isn't the root cause of their problems, its actually a symptom of something else.
My family's tapestry isn't new. Its old. It comes from childhood. It did not carry into my adult years except as it relates to dealing with the snarls of the backside left behind in my heart and mind. I have spent a lifetime working through them, clipping the threads and cleaning it up up emotionally one by one. I have had great grace given to me along with a loving husband to help me on my journey.
I engage in battle each day to experience the joy of living and breathing and its worth the fight. I am a positive person by nature, and when given lemons, I do my best to make lemonade out of it. I am a fighter, and not a quitter. I want good things for me and for my loved ones and those around me. It is worth fighting through the snarls of the backside of my family tapestry so that the beauty of the front can shine through.
